Animatic Critique

lwaxana · Post by **lwaxana** » Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:03 am

Hi all! Here is my work in progress animatic. It is the beginning of the story I have been working on. It leaves off in the middle of the scene, but I wanted to test it on people who haven't seen it to get a sense if it's working. I'd love to have any suggestions or comments on what I have so far. I plan to take the video down in a few days. Thanks!

http://vimeo.com/33134713

funksmaname · Post by **funksmaname** » Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:45 am

looks good to me so far!
I really like your character style - its really original but somehow familiar

Pro sounding audio really goes a long way too... good luck with the project - can't wait to see it all come together!

For the final piece, some quiet audio ambiance would really help with setting the scene too.

neon22 · Post by **neon22** » Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:17 pm

I think it looks very promising.

I look forward to seeing it progress.
Interesting story shows promise...

Will you keep expanding teh animatic ? or begin animating ?
Do you have any characters tests yet ?

chucky · Post by **chucky** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 7:46 am

Looks pretty good, good work with using the 'line' properly.
Just might to add elbows of the other characters into each shot, they will help keep the spacial relativity and provide a 'hinge' for the camera.

hothead · Post by **hothead** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:23 pm

nice work. at 19 to about 21 second when the man put is hand over is mouth i would make him laugh to himself...

slowtiger · Post by **slowtiger** » Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:17 pm

Really good! I especially like your choice of viewpoints: good perspective, much like live action! Looking forward to animation ...

(Do something about the labels on the cans: that perspective isn't right yet)

lwaxana · Post by **lwaxana** » Fri Dec 09, 2011 2:45 am

Thank you all for the comments and suggestions! They will be very useful to me as I continue to work on this.

neon--I think I will continue on with the animatic for the rest of scene 1. But I also want to keep refining this portion to get the jokes to come through better. I'm hoping that getting more energy in the voice acting, some kind of music to accent certain moments, and better pacing will make it funnier.