Night That Was Dark - Short Film

wolldo · Post by **wolldo** » Fri May 22, 2009 7:47 am

Hi everyone,
Last week I had finished my short-film - thanks to all those who helped me out in the rendering stage, but I only had time for a final-minute batch render of a web-file size - not very good quality at all.

Anyway, here's my first 'proper' 10 minute production film, created using Adobe Illustrator CS3 for drawing, and Anime Studio Pro for animation. I also used Audacity for final soundtrack creation and ACID Xpress to create the music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5NeeDMx-9I

Please comment & rate. The quality of the video isn't too good, but I'll fix that and add the same video in better quality again - any help??? Also our website is www.deemedpathetic.com, but its currently down - our host is fixing the problem.

Thanks,
Deemed Pathetic Studios

rpc9943 · Post by **rpc9943** » Fri May 22, 2009 8:29 am

hey there, it seems very .. southpark.

the group parts i cant understand... you did plan this out a lot though, job well done on that...

RonC

wolldo · Post by **wolldo** » Fri May 22, 2009 12:14 pm

Thanks @ above!!!!
Yeah, I know its very south park, but its easiest to draw, and i thought that i'd start off with that just to get the feel of it. south park is my favourite show, and i showed it to a few others, and they said that they could tell it was inspired by south park, not just the design, but some of the humour in it.

The people also said they couldn't understand the group bits either, so sorry about that.
But thanks!

synthsin75 · Post by **synthsin75** » Sat May 23, 2009 6:34 am

I'm not a big South Park fan (well except for the Buck Rogers spoof). No complaints, for its style. But I'm afraid most of the humor was lost on me. You might try to reach a broader audience. (Granted, I haven't seen Twilight.)

Also, while it seems you did try to distinguish the characters a bit, I think they needed more exaggerated differences between them. There was also missing a variety of emotion. Everyone seemed pretty nonchalant about all the crazy stuff going on. You can get a lot out of the characters' reactions to stuff.

The single emotional note makes it seem to drag while the cuts and pace are actually pretty good.

rpc9943 · Post by **rpc9943** » Sat May 23, 2009 9:11 am

i think it should be fair to say that lack of emotion can be SO FITTING. but what is better is VERY (dynamic) SPURTS.. interspersed with perfect awkward pauses, with blank stares. analyze these things more when watching a cartoon. you know what im talking about im sure!

I mean simply the fact that you can pull off an 8 minute cartoon is impressive to me.

first- refine your style. It's vector artwork- even use reference images to try to get the exact effect of what you're aiming for.. If you are unsure what you are aiming for, use google images search to look up various styles of cartoon artwork.

second - refine your storyline. it is a cheap trick to use satire based on modern things, unless it is done SO artfully... I personally really liked Twilight the movie, but then again, you are kind of keeping your humor open to a very select group of people, those who share in your sarcasm. Even if you made the characters look like twilight and used "hey man... im totally like, a vampire... but yeah im also totally like a freshman in highschool..." is still saying the message, but keeps it open for the viewer, despite what movie or book series came out, to understand you are mocking.... make sense?

third - im not sure what you were doing in the singing parts, but I must say frankly, in my opinion, they were very long, and made me feel uncomfortable to have to watch it. I personally would not do that kind of stuff, but if you really want to throw in chants and songs in, my opinion is keep it short, and understandable, and hopefully humorous.

mostly, keep in mind you are creating a presentation that, if you want others to laugh with you, you really should give it a more outward approach. It felt like I was watching a lot of inside jokes going on.

RonC

wolldo · Post by **wolldo** » Sun May 24, 2009 1:10 am

Hi,
Thanks for all your reviews. Since I'm 14, I'm probably not the best at writing & animating, but I'm working hard to make sure everyone gets the jokes, but this animation, I made it directed more towards my Scout Group so some of you might not get the jokes.

But thanks!!!! I will use your critisism constructively, and work to better myself

Deemed Pathetic Studios

synthsin75 · Post by **synthsin75** » Sun May 24, 2009 5:44 am

For 14, I'd say you've got a very good start. Keep it up.

rpc9943 · Post by **rpc9943** » Sun May 24, 2009 5:46 am

+1

just dont stop, mmk?

RonC

wolldo · Post by **wolldo** » Thu Jun 18, 2009 7:31 am

Just for the record, I rendered this in high definition, which is now available on youtube. its also a higher quality when watched normally than before.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8eqP1S-hII

thanks! please comment & rate, and tell me what you think..

bmj2728 · Post by **bmj2728** » Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:36 pm

The first thing that comes to mind is the word impressed. Something I noticed and I think it was what sythsin was trying to get at initially, is that the scouts all seem to have the same head/face, but with different hair. South Park actually handles kids the same way(pretty much). I think it works well in South Park because all the kids have different clothes, and hair. Also, the adults are not drawn in the same way. For me anyway, I think finding more ways to individualize(is this even a word???) your characters. It's kinda tough though because of the uniforms. Either way, I think what you've got here is extremely impressive. Are you doing all the drawing and animation all on your own?

wolldo · Post by **wolldo** » Sun Jun 21, 2009 3:28 am

Yes, Im drawing it all myself. I drew everything in Adobe Illustrator CS3, and animated it with Anime Studio Pro.

However, the next two movies I make will be drawn using CorelDRAW. And thanks for the critisism. Also, if you didnt know Im only 14

turning 15 next month.

The main reason why I'm not doing some of the things you suggested is on purpose, some, well, maybe not, but most on purpose. I want to make it look amature, crude and not very good animated, cause I like shows, such as South Park & Life & Times of Tim that are like that.

jackismyazz · Post by **jackismyazz** » Mon Jun 22, 2009 11:16 am

thes liddle ver$#@n reminds of a time when i was on no_seeker dc forum