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ProjectDavinci
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Joined: Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:46 pm

Help needed

Post by ProjectDavinci »

I need help with an idea I am thinking of for an animated film. Here it is:
In the beginning of the story, we find Tea, our bald headed heroine on a mission to gather information about what The evil emperor of earth, Akala is up to. She is nearly captured when she is downloading plans to her notebook. Back at the Alliance Against the Empire's stronghold, Tea reveals that Akala is planning to tear down the holy lands in the vatican, mecca, and lumbini just to name a few. He plans this in order to erect holy shrines in Akala's name. Tea embarks on the mission of a lifetime, to stop the emperor Akala from putting this plan into action. While she tries to track down Akala, her boyfriend Terry serves as a commanding soldier in the AAE's army. When she stops in at a nightclub, she meets Mel, who is also looking to kill the emperor. He tells her the location of Akala's palace, and they travel there together. Meanwhile, General Ben and Terry plan out an attack of their own against the Empire's forces. While Ben commands the army at the Vatican, Terry leads the army at Mecca. Many troops are spread out elsewhere at holy sites around the world. In Akala's palace, Mel betrays Tea and is handed over to Akala. Later Tea escapes, but not before facing Mel, the traitor. After she kills Mel, Tea finds Akala and they are engaged in mortal combat. Ultimately, Tea wins and the empire is saved. However, Terry is hurt during the horrible battle and Tea must tend to him. In the end, Terry makes a full recovery. Now the earth now knows peace and people can live in harmony, regardless of race or religion.

I believe it is missing something(s). Can anybody point out what?
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slowtiger
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Post by slowtiger »

I believe it is missing something(s). Can anybody point out what?
Originality? An interesting plot?

Sorry, but I'm fed up with this kind of fairy-tale soap opera with guns. There's enough real problems and human conflicts on earth that can be told. I'd like to see some more animation dealing with adult themes in an adult way. I f you don't know what I mean, google for Persepolis.

Of course this is just my personal taste.
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toonertime
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Joined: Tue Feb 27, 2007 8:34 am
Location: ST. LOUIS

me too

Post by toonertime »

I also have no interest in the LETS FIGHT and kill them
all plots and games that seem to be the soup de jour
for our culture
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dueyftw
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Post by dueyftw »

ProjectDavinci you have: "Alliance Against the Empire's stronghold." oh no, that is like a death nail in any pitch for any film, animated or not.

Sorry, If you have a really good story. Some suggestions.

Keep your animation under 10 minutes, more like 2 to 4. Unless you plan to spend 8 to 10 hours a day, five days a week. Plympton does a feature every 2 to 3 years and he gets help.

Write you story out. Not as a film but something that you read and can get lost into.

I'm currently working on my own film, as everyone here has their projects.

http://www.nicestories.com/unreg/s/story.php?id=5153

At the pace I'm going it should be done in a year or two.

Dale
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Rasheed
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Post by Rasheed »

Also, when you try to pitch a story, tell what it is about, not what happens in the story, because that might change while the project is being developed. The subject matter should remain more or less the same.

From what you write I can't see what the story is about. It doesn't enthuse me a bit. It reminds me of old anime themes that have been rehashed so many times it isn't very original anymore. Perhaps you could put some new ideas into the story, but my guess is that you'd better just start all over again.

Many anime start as a manga. There is a reason for that. If a manga flops, it doesn't cost very much. However, if a manga has a loyal following, it is easy to convince investors to put money into your anime project.

I wouldn't put your story in words, because an animation has to be visual, and told with pictures instead of words. At the least, I would create a rough story sketch, in comics form, and some back story, this time in words, of the antagonist and protagonists, which never will be used directly, but is good to have as a reference while the story is being developed. Also, what will the environment look like, what are the backdrops? What people live there, what do they do? Etc., etc.

Developing a good story requires a lot of hard work, and a lot of work on things that will never will be put in animation, but is necessary nonetheless. You want to create a world people can dive into right away, a world that is believable. This means you have to have a good story, that inspires a visual artist to create visuals, which inspires you to rewrite your story, which inspires the visual artist to create even more awe inspiring visuals. It helps if you, as a story developer, can draw and paint yourself.
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mkelley
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Post by mkelley »

Some of this sounds harsh but it's all good advice. In particular the advice about not trying to describe individual scenes -- while I'm not a huge fan of the "Hollywood pitch" (where you need to describe your idea in about one sentence of the sort like "It's like the movie "Speed" only on a submarine") if you can't describe your overall movie concept without talking about specific scenes you're in trouble.

The *reason* you're in trouble if you can't do this is because you don't understand what you are trying to say with your film. Now, I'm not saying you don't -- but you didn't explain that here, you described your film by talking about scenes which, as others have pointed out, might not be in the final film anyway.

In the business world we'd call it a mission statement, but if you have one you could get a lot more help here by posting it. Just put your paragrah or so here as to what the film is all about -- remembering, of course, that a film is NOT about scenes or specific characters.
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DarkMProductions
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Post by DarkMProductions »

While I don't really mind generic stories and such, I do mind it when the characters are card board cut outs. Like I find that the best movies animated or otherwise are the ones with very well developed characters.

Like you can still keep the characters as they are, but just give reasoning as to why they do what they do. And yes even the bad guy needs development, because you cant just say he's a bad guy because he is. That just doesn't work, there has to be a reason why he is the way he is. And I know it can be very difficult in a short film.

I would also try to think of at least one unique element that separates your movie from everyone else's, or something that people haven't seen in a long time. Because if you just give people something that they've seen before they will either get board or just not care for what is going on.

Also if this is going to be your first animated movie, I would avoid doing this first. Like do a couple of smaller stories, just to stretch your legs a bit and to get a feel on how to tell a story. I would also suggest doing a few silent films, to get the hang of telling a story visually.

So any way I'm kind of rambling now on my own experience, but I do hope this helps.
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Rasheed
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Post by Rasheed »

If storytelling is your problem, I would look into that first. There are some good resources available, both as books, as online.

If you observe what some of the indie animators in this forum have created, you'll see, they've started with a small story, perhaps even a gag. It is all about how you deliver your story, and you learn that only by doing.

And your notebook (either digital or analog) is your friend. Write down snippets of thoughts about your project. Most writers develop their stories by first gathering ideas, ordering them in categories (useful, perhaps, probably not) and start writing.

And allow yourself to suck. You learn from your mistakes. Gradually you know what you want and what you should avoid (pitfalls). Once you start writing, get into a discipline of writing at a regular schedule. E.g. say you'll be writing a certain amount of words per week. Don't think about writing, but just write. Thinking about writing is procrastination and isn't very productive.

And subscribe to the podcast I should be writing, by Mur Lafferty. She always has good advice for novice writers.

So why are you still reading this text? You should be writing!
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