Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

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Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby jali » Sun Feb 11, 2018 11:02 am

Hi,
started working on animated shorts starring my niece, I am aiming for a Mr Bean meets loony tunes type of vibe,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5YHJTvEK8s
Episode 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p56sAiST2bo
Episode 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLWYXXLQ24
Episode 3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImjzvNX2boE
Episode 4
https://youtu.be/h_Ocm2xYAT8
Episode 5
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykcdKcmGGn8
let me know what you guys think,

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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby chucky » Mon Feb 12, 2018 3:26 pm

Well done for making a series of full episodes, shot and sweet.
I liked the snappy pacing too.
If you can polish it up a little and makes sure the gag plays clearly, these will really shine.
I bet your niece and her parents love them especially.
8)
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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby jahnocli » Mon Feb 12, 2018 5:41 pm

In the past I've given my honest opinion about things, and in no time flame wars seem to break out. I'm going to try to be honest and constructive -- I hope you take it on board without wanting to firebomb my home...
1. Episode 2 is unavailable (at least on my computer)
2. I fully understand why people use incompetech.com for their sounds, but these tracks are sadly so overfamiliar that (again, for me) their use is off-putting. It would be good if you could commission someone to write some incidental music for you
3. I really don't like laugh tracks. This is just me, I don't know how widespread this is
4. Some of the sight gags last too long. This IS difficult to get right; I still have a lot of trouble...
5. On one or two occasions it's been difficult to make connections between things that are happening. Perhaps instead of a breathless succession of gags it might be instructive to slow down a little and make sure the viewer understands what's going on

It's an appealing character, with plenty of fun ideas. I wish you and your niece well.
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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby strider2000 » Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:00 pm

I'm not an animation professional, so I'm sure the constructive feedback from jahnocli and others is most helpful for improving. But from the perspective of an animation enthusiast I really enjoyed your little episodes :) When I first started with Moho I had a hard time finding example of episodes like that, showing what could be done with Moho. I'm sure others will benefit from your sharing your work.

I enjoyed it :)
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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby slowtiger » Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:04 pm

(episode 1)
Title too long. Decide what you want and stick to it, but not image big, small, big again, rotate again. Poor colour and font choice in title: "is" is invisible against background. "Episode 1" stands too long.
Why show the house when the action is in the garden?
The puffy cloud by convention only appears when a character vanishes, not while appearing.
Poor staging, girl needs to turn to butterfly to see in binoculars.
The girl sneaking to the butterfly isn't in the same space with it.
Again poor cut when scaring. Butterfly too long, needs some size change (getting bigger). Next shot she should look at him. Next shot poor cut again.
Her running is fast, as indicated by sound, but the arms move in slow-mo. The tree approaches too slowly and slows out, instead of getting even bigger.

Although you show a fast action, many shots are much too slow. You should definitely spend more time storyboarding and make sure all your cuts work.
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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby jali » Tue Feb 20, 2018 8:35 pm

thanks for the criticism, will take them on board, i'm always looking to improve, will try harder,

on a positive not episode 6 is complete
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lf7MlLcPySs&t=3s
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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby jali » Sat Mar 24, 2018 2:34 pm

episode 7 of Jannat's Silly Adventures

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4-vzEv ... e=youtu.be
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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby jali » Sat Apr 14, 2018 9:54 am

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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby jali » Wed May 02, 2018 9:43 am

Episode 9 of Jannat's Silly Adventures

https://youtu.be/2XSnbhtFVzg
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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby jali » Sat May 19, 2018 10:46 am

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Re: Jannat's Silly Adventures Episodic Animated short

Postby jali » Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:10 pm

Jannat's Silly Adventures Season 1 ep1-10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVL9dXz4St0&t=622s
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