The Siren Tease

[Lumpy]

I follow Kevin Seccia on twitter - he's a very funny guy, and he often tweets stuff that makes me laugh. Yesterday, he tweeted something that I thought would make a GREAT animation, so I asked him if I could animate it, and he was all "Cool!" So I animated it. I tried to improve my technique from before, such as hiding arm breaks and such, but I did it in 4 hours, late at night, so I might have missed some things.

[Danimal]

I liked the music and the overall idea here. Also, the use of basic shapes to simulate fog at sea was great.

Confusion creeps in with the direction. The siren seems to be to the left of the boat when she sings. Then the main guy jumps off to the right and approaches her from the right. Then she motions left to the boat. Honestly, without the tweet at the end, I wouldn't have had any idea what was going on due to this. He should jump off to the left and approach her from the left to maintain the continuity of what's happening.

After understanding what was going on, the main guy's reaction at the end is priceless - simple yet conveys so much.

[ddrake]

Honestly, without the tweet at the end, I wouldn't have had any idea what was going on due to this. He should jump off to the left and approach her from the left to maintain the continuity of what's happening.
...

After understanding what was going on, the main guy's reaction at the end is priceless - simple yet conveys so much.

Yeah, with something this simple, the directionality needs to be very clear.

The concept is a fun play off the, "Ooh, yeah, I was actually making eyes at your friend" moment. My suggestion here would be to play up the anticipation a little. A few beats longer on the effort for Guy 1 to get to the Siren. Doesn't need to be much, as he's already swimming to get there. Just linger a little longer on the swim, or have him seem tired and out of breath?

Aside from that, I'd have to see it with the characters looking and gesturing in directions that more clearly make sense. Maybe the simplicity and pacing would be fine with just those direction adjustments.

[wizaerd]

I too was completely confused until the tweet at the end. Unfortunately, the tweet itself goes by so fast, I had to re-wind and pause in order to read it. You may want to leave in on screen a bit longer...

[lwaxana]

Really funny concept and I like the music. What is that song? I think this is difficult to convey without words. Narrating the tweet or using dialogue would make it clearer. Otherwise I think it needs more facial expression to show what the characters are thinking.

I didn't have major issues with the direction. I read it is the siren is to the left, the guy jumps in the water to the aft, (not shown, but he swims to the left from there), and then he emerges on the aft side of the rocks. I guess it would be more clear if he jumps in and swims toward the camera. and then comes up on the rocks with his back to the camera. And then when she points to the other guy, she would be pointing in the direction of the camera.

But that part didn't confuse me. What confused me was what was happening once he got to the rocks. I think it would be more clear if the siren had a surprised/confused "what are you doing here" look on her face, before indicating toward the other guy.

[Lumpy]

Thanks guys, I appreciate the input. It was a gut impulse to go with the silent approach, and I think the "direction confusion" hindered it. Watching it again, it really does confuse the issue. Referring to the song, that was a public domain loop I found on freesound.org. I think it fits very nicely, haha.