New episode, made with AS 5

DanFromFaction · Post by **DanFromFaction** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 3:17 pm

Hi all,

I posted a new episoded of Fletcher:
http://fletchercomics.com/week7.html

It's funny (and true: I know I'm not the only one who's ever had trouble sleeping!), and I hope you enjoy that part of it, but I'd also love to hear any thoughts on the design and animation.

For the background wall and pictures I used MS Paint, in keeping with my overall look of bright, solid colors and simplistic design.

My style is deliberately simple, but I would love to hear any suggestions for deepening the images and emotions.

Thanks!
Dan

LeeHasPencil · Post by **LeeHasPencil** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 3:21 pm

I'm not sure I agree with all aspects of the art style, for one their eyes look a bit creepy. But I do like the idea of big bold colours. I haven't listened to it yet, so consider this half a review. It looks well animated though, so well done.

jahnocli · Post by **jahnocli** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 3:59 pm

I agree with the comment about the eyes -- gives the characters a kind of dead look (think of the "other parents" in Coraline, with buttons for eyes). For me, in a 'talking heads' scene like this, I would want the characters standing out from the background a little more. Whether this translates as colour differences or toning down the background brightness, it's something to think about.
The narrative is funny. A little more variation in the staging would also make it more interesting, I think -- an extreme close-up for dramatic effect, for example. But well done -- I liked it.

DanFromFaction · Post by **DanFromFaction** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:44 pm

Good point on the eyes. I did go through a lot of variations on that. I couldn't find a way to have the normal "white oval" eyes with the little eyeballs and not have it look beady-eyed to me.

That is most likely my own hangup, cause I mean really, how many cartoon characters have those kinds of eyes and don't look beady at all?

jahnocli · Post by **jahnocli** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 6:30 pm

A couple of comments. You could try those "Peanuts" style of eyes, which are like upside-down commas or apostrophes? Or try the "white oval" style, but just have a black line/eyelashes on the top, and no line along the bottom edge (just the white fill against the flesh tone)?

I think it's worth getting this right, because the eyes (and eyebrows) are so important in expressions.

Danimal · Post by **Danimal** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:56 am

I liked it, creepy eyes and all

DanFromFaction · Post by **DanFromFaction** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:33 am

Danimal wrote:I liked it, creepy eyes and all

Thanks!

lwaxana · Post by **lwaxana** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 4:18 am

This is exactly the kind of comedy that I wish I could write. It's like watching new episodes of Home Movies or Dr. Katz. My favorites are Starfish Factoids and Too Honest Congress.

The black eyes are great. They remind me of Tintin or one of the Canadians from South Park. I think the trick will be to let the eye style serve as a guide for the overall design.

I think you have a really clear image of who Fletcher and Cougar are as characters based on their dialogue and appearance. Everything contributes to making a realistic personality. I would just fine-tune the design. I'd suggest experimenting with fill and line colors as well as line thickness.

For me, Daffy's personality isn't coming through as clearly from her dialogue. The other characters ooze personality and Daffy says every line straight. Having some more unique personality traits will make her more endearing. Design-wise, I think her face seems too angular to fit with the simplified eye style.

Also, when the characters talk, the top of the mouth should stay at the same height relative to the head and the bottom of the mouth should open and close.

Overall, I think this is freakin' awesome and that it's worth fine tuning. Nice work!

DanFromFaction · Post by **DanFromFaction** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:41 pm

Thanks Lwaxana!

You are dead-on about line thickness. AS has such a handy line taper tool that is a breeze to use. I should definitely make use of that.

Daffy has more scenes that show her depth later, don't worry!

Right you are about the mouths, as well. That is a technical thing that I simply didn't know.

Thanks all for the input. Now, I've got a lot of these already done, so please don't be offended if you don't see me taking your advice right away. It could be several weeks before you notice me making some of these changes. But please don't stop with the suggestions, because this is such a great forum and I've already picked up great tips from you guys.

Oh, and enjoy the show!

LeeHasPencil · Post by **LeeHasPencil** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:03 pm

The comment on the eyes was only supposed to be a small one, I don't thikn they look too bad and I like the suggestions to improve them.

Just listened and thought the writing and voice acting is really good. Keep up the good work man.

sbtamu · Post by **sbtamu** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 3:54 pm

I've watched your clip a few times and there are a lot of good stuff going on that I like.

About the only thing I can suggest is to remove noise "hum" from the audio with a sound editor and then clip off the ends.

I started here recently, to let the recording go for a few seconds before and after I talk. This gives me some room to listen to the back ground noises so I know what to filter out. But in your audio It seems the 'hum" is coming internally but I'm sure that it can be removed without altering the quality.

Stephen

DanFromFaction · Post by **DanFromFaction** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:31 am

Yeah, I need to improve my audio recordings, big time.

I do this from my home, and I just don't have a lot of capabilities in terms of soundproofing.

Hopefully the show will get enough of a fan base that I can invest in some real gear, but that will be down the road a little.

I'm real glad you guys dig this!

neeters_guy · Post by **neeters_guy** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:35 am

It's funny stuff. How much time does it take to create the 1-and-half minutes of material every week?

I would increase the volume on the voices. I had to crank up my speakers and then I played a another youtube video...whoa...

lwaxana · Post by **lwaxana** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:30 am

This is one direction you could go with the art style to play up the black eyes. Of course, I'm just trying to help brainstorm. Don't feel obligated to use any of these suggestions.

DanFromFaction · Post by **DanFromFaction** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:43 pm

neeters_guy wrote:It's funny stuff. How much time does it take to create the 1-and-half minutes of material every week?

I would increase the volume on the voices. I had to crank up my speakers and then I played a another youtube video...whoa...

Between writing, recording, synching, animating and final edits I'd say it's a good two or three hours all told to do an episode.

I hear you on that audio (pun not intended, but embraced). That's just something I have to work on. I got no excuse, and it wasn't like a deliberate decision. I was just so focused on the other stuff, you know?