Time Machine Part 1: FEEDBACK PLEASE!

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spoooze!
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Time Machine Part 1: FEEDBACK PLEASE!

Post by spoooze! »

Part one of my 30-45 minute movie is up on the web and Part 2 is on the way! The animation and the backgrounds were completely done in Moho. Special thanks to my team of story people, voice actors, and most of all: animators.

Click here to go DIRECTLY to the movie
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/jtn1989/P1-2.mov

Click here to explore the rest of my site and to see my other movies:
http://home.earthlink.net/~jtn1989/hiya ... index.html

As I said before Part 2 is on the way! I'm just waiting for some animation to be completed and then it'll be done!

Spoooze!
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stephen
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Post by stephen »

The story is good and it leaves me wanting to see what happens next.

I would have thought Barney is trademarked.

You have a lot of reaction shots with the Doctor listening to Barney talking. But the Doctor doesn't react much. Yes you have his eyebrows move a bit and his head tilt some, but a lot of the time it looked like a freeze frame.

at the end of the scene, Barney is suddenly in the Stand Here spot, and then he dissapears. It is not too clear that the machine was operated and he went somewhere in time. Actually I missed all of that the first viewing, it happened so fast.

Who was holding the gun on the Doctor? It could not have been Barney since he was on the left (apparently), but the gun was comming from someone in the direction of the camera. Was it a hencheman? Maybe we should see him. I was confused, because Barney said "I'll blow your brains out." rather than, "I'll have your brains blown out." or "My evil henchman will blow your brains out."

The scenes after the credits were confusing. It moved fast and things were not connected together very well. It was kind of choppy.
It was not clear that we went into the TV to see a commercial. Why was the commercial there? what did it add to the story?

Please don't read me as being harsh. As I said, I want to see more.
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cribble
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Post by cribble »

personally the end part didn't need to be there, it distracts the viewer from the actual story of the original cartoon. Make it a seperate series. overall i thought it was quite well made, i was little shocked at first with the sound coming in... but i did have my speakers on quite loud (*slaps hand*). Voice acting is quite good, i like the insane, breathing of the copyrighted Barney. Is this ment to be serious or funny?
--Scott
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spoooze!
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Post by spoooze! »

Thanks for the comments all :D
I would have thought Barney is trademarked.
It's Barney's evil twin Evil. That'll be explained in part 2 :D
ho was holding the gun on the Doctor? It could not have been Barney since he was on the left (apparently), but the gun was comming from someone in the direction of the camera. Was it a hencheman? Maybe we should see him. I was confused, because Barney said "I'll blow your brains out." rather than, "I'll have your brains blown out." or "My evil henchman will blow your brains out."
Ya, that was his henchman. You'll get to see him in part 2.
The scenes after the credits were confusing. It moved fast and things were not connected together very well. It was kind of choppy.
It was not clear that we went into the TV to see a commercial. Why was the commercial there? what did it add to the story?
Ya, I agree, they were a bit choppy, the stuff was ment for laughs but I it didn't turn out as great as I'd hoped. Maybe I'll just cut that scene out...
I just wanted to see what other people thought before I thought about cutting it. Oh well, I'll think about it.
Please don't read me as being harsh. As I said, I want to see more.
Don't worry, I've had harsher :D
overall i thought it was quite well made, i was little shocked at first with the sound coming in... but i did have my speakers on quite loud (*slaps hand*). Voice acting is quite good, i like the insane, breathing of the copyrighted Barney. Is this ment to be serious or funny?
It was actually meant to be both serious but also a bit funny.

Spoooze!
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Agent
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Post by Agent »

I like it! The voice acting was good, but you should make more view in your cartoon (front, side) and it would be much better. Also real lipsync would be nice :).
Never send a human to do a machine's job.
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spoooze!
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Post by spoooze! »

Agent wrote:I like it!
Thanks :D Did you see part 2 yet?
http://webzoom.freewebs.com/jtn1989/Par ... web%29.mov

JN
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Agent
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Post by Agent »

yes i saw that too
may i ask u that making Luckybob inspired by Spongebob? :)
Never send a human to do a machine's job.
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spoooze!
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Post by spoooze! »

Agent wrote:yes i saw that too
may i ask u that making Luckybob inspired by Spongebob? :)
Not really. He's somewhat inspired by Mr. Bill. He's mostly my own creation.

The only similarity between LB and SB is the "Bob" in thier names.

JN
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