Moho Forum

I've been working really hard on my latest animated movie, and I wanted to share my progress with you guys. It wasn't animated with Anime Studio, but I will be doing background animations with it, but those will come later. Any way I hope you enjoy it, comments and constructive criticism is always welcome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgOyYyJ1G5U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lnA4WS5w8Q

In the first sequence, the person running generates some suspense and expectancy, but this dissipates very quickly when they stop running. By the time the spaceship thing comes down there is a real sense of anticlimax. Drop all that stuff when they stop running, and have the spaceship come down really quickly -- maybe even hear it before you see it? If you are generating some excitement, go somewhere with it -- don't just throw it away! People will get bored...

Thanks for the comment, I'll see what I can do to help that sequence out.

Here is another Sequence I just uploaded.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUawF3alIRs

There's a book by Lajos Egri called "The Art of Dramatic Writing". It's not an easy read, but it's excellent on story-telling and problems of believability. For me, the problem with this is too many long, pregnant silences which don't mean anything, and a sudden burst of violence -- which doesn't mean anything.

If there is a narrative to your story-telling (and for me, a story isn't a story without narrative), you need to break these sequences up into smaller, less abrupt chunks and think about how you can convey these shifting emotions to the audience. At the moment, I'm just not getting it -- (and I think the "hair blowing in the wind" thing has just become a dire cliche...)

Sorry it's all a bit negative-sounding -- it's meant to be constructive.

Hey its no problem, I just forgot to mention that I haven't done the voice recording for this sequence yet. And yes this sequence is very important to the overall plot, while it might not seem so at first, by the time episode 3 comes out everything will hopefully make sense. So this sequence is a massive clue as to what is going on overall.

As the title of the clip suggests, this is a work in progress. So when I do some voice work for it (on Monday) I will probably upload it again. Sorry for the confusion. But thanks for comment any way, and I hope this explains things.